I get a lot of questions about sex from teens who are debating having sex for the first time.  The age old conundrums still exists.  Girls want their first time to be special, and boys tend to see it more as  a right of passage.  Deciding when to have sex is a very personal decision, and still there are some guidelines that might help.

You might be ready to have sex if you have found a partner who truly respects and values you.  You have spent enough time together to really get to know one another (a least 6 months is usually helpful).  You feel that even if you broke up after you could still be happy about your decision.

You might be ready to have sex if you know that not using birth control even just once can result in pregnancy.  You know your birth control options and how to use them.  You have had a GYN or primary care visit to make sure you do not have any medical issue that could interfere with sex.  You know that oral herpes read: cold sores can transfer to genital areas and become genital herpes which never goes away and is very painful.

You might be ready to have sex if you can tell your parents that you are interested in sex before something goes wrong.  Many teens don’t tell their parents they are sexually active until they think they might be pregnant or they might have an STI.  Are you brave enough to talk to them before hand?

Teen girls: Know that this is a big deal and that if you do not chose carefully who you have sex with first and wait until you are really ready you may really regret it.  Relationships end a lot in high school so if you are going to have sex thinking that you are going to marry this person be careful.  Ask yourself if you will really be OK having had sex with him if he breaks up with you later.

Teen boys: Know that there are risks involved with sex.  Use a condom to protect yourself from STIs and getting her pregnant.  Make sure this is a person you feel safe with, and that you will feel OK if she does not give you the time of day later.  Make sure you ask permission to keep yourself out of legal hot water.

Remember that no matter what decision you make you are amazing and worth loving, put some thought into this important decision, and remember not to hurry, no one should rush this important life changing decision.